Star Trek Expanded Universe

What about some D'oh! (RIS Bouteina episode)

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What about some D'oh! is the fifth episode of the first RIS Bouteina season.


The subspace highway detector detected a subspace turbulence almost two months before, and they went on their way. They finally arrived at the location of the anomaly. What did they find?


Act OneEdit

For the last two months, the RIS Bouteina has been flying in a zone of subspace turbulence so severe that the crew has suffered from llhrei'sian to the point that all Romulans were affected to some degree and the cure for the subspatial form of llhrei'sian was exhausted. Because of the effects subspatial llhrei'sian had on the hundreds of Romulans, they all communicated by shouts. Annika ordered to drop out of warp at the first possible occasion, while she is trying to explain the situation to the non-Romulans. But before they drop out of warp, the computer triggered a yellow alert. While the ship is put under yellow alert, the Romulans keep rotating in and out of the washroom because of the diarrhea.

Act TwoEdit

They have arrived in the 2003 UB13 system and they started looking for planets. Luckily, there were eleven planets, one of which is inhabited. As they made their approach towards the planet, T'Val gets beamed out of the ship and the command staff has a difficult decision to take. Luckily, Vaebn Mairex tells the crew about the cure for the llhrei'sian and asks the bridge crew to scan the planet for cyprofloxacine. However, the sensor readings detected multiple locations for the cyprofloxacine. T'Val is greeted by someone who claims their planet is Earth but the natives aren't human. The transporter research team tries beaming a test barrel out of the lab while the Bouteina is still in high orbit. Annika gets her away team ready to search for both T'Val and cyprofloxacine.

Act ThreeEdit

The Bajoran crewman has reported some coordinates for the beaming down of the away team but once the transporter has been energized, they find themselves somewhere close to it but not where they intended to. They rather meet Bart Simpson, who told the away team to "eat his shorts" but Annika interpreted it as an invitation to eat. However, Rihanna could defeat some schoolyard bullies on its way to the away team's location, while Aehmig plays the saxophone and the Cardassian tells everyone that they are having shorts for lunch. In so doing, Vox'ula chokes the Cardassian.

Act FourEdit

The ship has left 2003 UB13-III for 2003 UB13-I. Taev Radaik wants to conduct an experiment that involved a shuttlecraft and sensors. Since all Romulans had llhrei'sian, the only shuttlecraft pilot who volunteered to fly the shuttlecraft once the paroxysm was reached in hydrogen accretion, Kovalus, was not Romulan. He kept flying at warp 1.5 until the accretion rate started to rise; at this moment, he dropped out of warp before structural damage appeared. Taev asked to repeat the experiment with the whole ship next time but Vaebn Mairex asked that, on this occasion, the ship be flown back to Simpson's Planet so they could stand ready to recover the away team but remain under cloak until the away team signaled their readiness to beam up.

Act FiveEdit

Damar Zukov cut Bart's shorts so they could be eaten. It tasted like blueberry-flavored Fruit-o-long and the away team split itself up in order to search for T'Val. Lovestospooch went to 666 Golf Drive and Prof. Frink only gave him a clue: T'Val was at the hospital. Rihanna disappeared and T'Val asks Dr. Hibbert for cyprofloxacine. Annika thought that the hospital was closed when they all gathered in front of it six hours later. They pitch camp in Homer Simpson's backyard and Homer was about to call the police when they realize that Bart's pajama shorts were eaten by the Romulans. The episode ends by eating Krusty burgers for breakfast.

External linkEdit

RIS Bouteina episodes
Season 1
"The Departure" • "Distress Call" • "Take Me Out to the Zoo" • "Marianela" • "What about some D'oh!" • "Fundraiser" • "Declaration of Warcraft" • "No Child Left Untested" • "Manhunt" • "Eidolon" • "Four Redshirts and a Shirt" • "Merry Christmas" • "We're All In This Together" • "Marriage and Honeymoon"
Season 2
"Cloak, baby, Cloak!" • "Fury of the Prison Ships" • "Women's Dark Frontier" • "Easter Eggs" • "Bowser Shakedown" • "Sphere of Influence" • "Broken Bread" • "Extraordinary Summit" • "My Carpet, Tis of Thee" • "The Whole Kitten Kaboodle" • "Battle at the Grave of Thoughts" • "Redshirt Distribution" • "Bottle to Throttle" • "Quantic Fissure" • "Quantic Return" • "Blackrock and Roll" • "Kingdom Hospital" • "Monster-in-a-Box" • "A Tale of Two Holodecks" • "Grinch and Scrooge" • "Miracle in Whoville" • "Battle of Eight Beat" • "Planet of the Cheaters" • "How the Charter Was Won"
Season 3
"Yesterday's Lyrans" • "The Measure of a Romulan" • "Cost of Captivity" • "Hussade Contract" • "Degree of Liberty" • "Days of Wine and D'ohses" • "Doctor Rihanna" • "Grade Inflation, Part One" • "Grade Inflation, Part Two" • "Grade Inflation, Part Three" • "Holographic Family" • "There's no Coffee in the Nebula" • "Tobacco Quest" • "Super Size Me" • "Super Size Me Again" • "Limit at Plus Infinity" • "The Day Where Students Have Stopped Calculating" • "If At First You Don't Succeed" • "Going, going, gone" • "Drug Wars" • "Monopolis" • "TV Dinner" • "Love Plan" • "Spoiled Rotten"
Season 4
"Humans, Romulans and Space-Beasts" • "Vosteage" • "Ice Cream Parlor" • "Gogmagog" • "Relief and Refuge" • "Real Estate Liberty" • "High Priestess of Evacuation" • "Limit at Minus Infinity" • "Low-Cost Vacation" • "Back to School" • "Tribble Resupply" • "Midwife" • "Night of the Were-Hawks" • "Forlorn Hope" • "Party Quest" • "Combinatorics Nightmare" • "Redshirt Computer" • "Party School" • "Just Cause" • "Kathelet"
Season 5
"Resolution on Krant" • "Hilbert Hotel" • "New York Convention" • "Propane Dream" • "Hospital Blues" • "Home Sense" • "Homeward" • "Dr Jekyll and Dr Hyde" • "Varlamov Steak" • "Credit Card Scholarship" • "Black Sox" • "Jockship" • "Two-Speed Intellect" • "Toy Dream" • "A Hockey Game Broke Out" • "Ultimate Wager" • "Cigarette Redshirt" • "Rator III Awaits" • "Hystelic Kingdom"
Sequel: Star Trek: The Stoneship Files

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