The Mess is a short story by the pseudonymous jespah.

The story is told from the perspective of Lili O'Day, on the Enterprise (NX-01).

On November 22, 2153, O'Day is helping to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for the crew. She has just put turkeys into the oven and is slicing sweet potatoes with a large French knife when there is an announcement on the intercom that Xindi Insectoids have boarded the ship and are on that particular deck.

Hearing two of them come in, O'Day waits with the knife and a cast iron skillet. When one of the Insectoids leaves, she bashes the other into a galley wall with the skillet. She picks up the Insectoid's rifle and points it at the door, and nearly shoots Malcolm Reed when he comes to investigate.

After Reed departs, Major Jay Hayes arrives in order to collect the rifle. Using a universal translator, he tells her that the Insectoid's uniform patch contains a name, She Who Almost Didn't Breed in Time.

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