Absalom West and the Hijackers (Banshee Squadron episode)

Teaser

Explosive decompression was a nasty way to die, but it was the price they paid for their assumptions.

Story

West is on Deep Space 9 in Quark's, drinking and telling tall tales. He gets a drunken Yridian to buy him a drink and rewards him with the story of the time the SS Rocinanté was boarded by pirates.

The story involves Pakled pirates and Varon-T disruptors and various other improbabilities.

No one believes West's outrageous story, and the crowd disperses. Quark comments how odd it was that an anonymous person turned in a Varon-T rifle to station security that morning.

Notes

• This story was written in response to a writing challenge I read on the Internet somewhere. The challenge was to write a story beginning with the sentence, "They say explosive decompression is a nasty way to die, but it was the price they paid for their assumption."

• This is the first Absalom West spinoff episode and establishes West as a teller of tall tales. Or are his crazy stories actually true...?

• The canon Bajor system has eight confirmed planets. In non-canon, the Bajor system has fourteen planets. West claimed to be orbiting planet twelve.